What do you want to be remembered for?
Yesterday I took my daughter to a birthday party for a little girl in her class. As is my practice, when I attend any event that includes a good number of mothers, I wear a Mamaisms Gear shirt. I should, right? Our intention is to honor and promote the collective, generational wisdom of mothers to mothers and the world. (here endith my mantra). So, I wore my “watch your mouth” shirt. It seemed apropos for the gathering of 5 year olds.
There is a weird disconnect between the other mothers and myself sometime only because not only do I work, but because my husband is a stay at home dad, they have a much more consistent experience with him at school functions. I know a few of them and have had the pleasure of becoming friends with a some, a woman from Boston being on of my most favorite people I have met in a long time. We were all standing around yesterday chatting and laughing and I realized how incredibly lucky I am to be a part of this day, this moment and this period in my life and the life of my daughter. These are great women, really great, solid human beings and I can only hope that Ingrid has an opportunity through the years that she spends with their children to get to know them.
While we are talking, one of the women tells me that she likes my shirt and asks me where I got it. So, I tell her that it is my (along with partners) company and that we have a website and that we hope to get them into some local shops soon. She loves it and then tells one of the other women there about what we do. So we are talking about the shirt and the site and the company and I tell her that we work with the Child Advocacy Commission and that 5% of our profits go directly to them. She stares at me and says; “I am on the board of the CAC, oh my God! You are that company! We just got a memo about you all last week.” She actually had tears in her eyes as she told me about her work there and how she chairs the yearly Gala Fundraiser and Auction. She told me all about how before the planning starts for the Gala every year and they set their goals they talk about what services and programs will be cut if they do not hit those benchmarks. The services and programs that affect the lives of women and children every day of the year. For some women and their children the CAC is the only hope that they have to fix their lives, address their fears, find safety, and embrace the promise of a better tomorrow.
We talked more about her work, her husband’s work at the sister organization the Parenting Place, and their dedication to volunteering in the community and helping those who need it. I felt so incredibly fortunate to be having the conversation and grateful for the opportunity to get to know her. I realized that she, just like me, believes that one person’s dedication and the collective responsibility of a community can change the world, because even if you only help one child, you have absolutely impacted the world.
We talked about letting go of the compulsion to keep your home perfect and your floors spotless and the freedom that comes with concentrating on what is important, because as she put it; “do you want to be remembered for a clean house?” is that what you want people to miss about you? Your gleaming hardwood floors? Really?
How do you want to be remembered? This is a question that I will ask myself every day from now on, because I don’t want to be remembered for a clean house, or a perfect body, or even a great sense of style. I want to be remembered for the time I gave away, the love and the help I accepted, the affection and the respect I gave to those I love, and the mother, wife and friend I strive to be. I want to be remembered as someone who let go of the little stuff, and laughed at her own foibles. I want to be remembered as someone who asked herself that question and did her best to use her life as a means of answering it.
Yesterday I took my daughter to a birthday party for a little girl in her class. As is my practice, when I attend any event that includes a good number of mothers, I wear a Mamaisms Gear shirt. I should, right? Our intention is to honor and promote the collective, generational wisdom of mothers to mothers and the world. (here endith my mantra). So, I wore my “watch your mouth” shirt. It seemed apropos for the gathering of 5 year olds.
There is a weird disconnect between the other mothers and myself sometime only because not only do I work, but because my husband is a stay at home dad, they have a much more consistent experience with him at school functions. I know a few of them and have had the pleasure of becoming friends with a some, a woman from Boston being on of my most favorite people I have met in a long time. We were all standing around yesterday chatting and laughing and I realized how incredibly lucky I am to be a part of this day, this moment and this period in my life and the life of my daughter. These are great women, really great, solid human beings and I can only hope that Ingrid has an opportunity through the years that she spends with their children to get to know them.
While we are talking, one of the women tells me that she likes my shirt and asks me where I got it. So, I tell her that it is my (along with partners) company and that we have a website and that we hope to get them into some local shops soon. She loves it and then tells one of the other women there about what we do. So we are talking about the shirt and the site and the company and I tell her that we work with the Child Advocacy Commission and that 5% of our profits go directly to them. She stares at me and says; “I am on the board of the CAC, oh my God! You are that company! We just got a memo about you all last week.” She actually had tears in her eyes as she told me about her work there and how she chairs the yearly Gala Fundraiser and Auction. She told me all about how before the planning starts for the Gala every year and they set their goals they talk about what services and programs will be cut if they do not hit those benchmarks. The services and programs that affect the lives of women and children every day of the year. For some women and their children the CAC is the only hope that they have to fix their lives, address their fears, find safety, and embrace the promise of a better tomorrow.
We talked more about her work, her husband’s work at the sister organization the Parenting Place, and their dedication to volunteering in the community and helping those who need it. I felt so incredibly fortunate to be having the conversation and grateful for the opportunity to get to know her. I realized that she, just like me, believes that one person’s dedication and the collective responsibility of a community can change the world, because even if you only help one child, you have absolutely impacted the world.
We talked about letting go of the compulsion to keep your home perfect and your floors spotless and the freedom that comes with concentrating on what is important, because as she put it; “do you want to be remembered for a clean house?” is that what you want people to miss about you? Your gleaming hardwood floors? Really?
How do you want to be remembered? This is a question that I will ask myself every day from now on, because I don’t want to be remembered for a clean house, or a perfect body, or even a great sense of style. I want to be remembered for the time I gave away, the love and the help I accepted, the affection and the respect I gave to those I love, and the mother, wife and friend I strive to be. I want to be remembered as someone who let go of the little stuff, and laughed at her own foibles. I want to be remembered as someone who asked herself that question and did her best to use her life as a means of answering it.
1 comment:
Tina,
you have already changed the world in so many ways!
You are an amaizing person and truly an inspiration. Rock on girl!
tp
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